they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize