I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
