Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
