just come out here and I will go home with you...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize