Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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