i permit you to call me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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