i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
