bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
