it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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