i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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