living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
