no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
