I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
