And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
