stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Holy shit dude........stairs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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