So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
