too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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