All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
