she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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