you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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