Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
