I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
