the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
