You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
