A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
