i just google imaged poop.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize