i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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