I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
