Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
