her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
