She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
