I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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