So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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