to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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