if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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