It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
