I'm really into asian looking animals
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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