Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
smell my finger.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
