I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
