So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
