worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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