So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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