What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she looked like the before picture.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
