I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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