she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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