i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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