I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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