he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
