Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize