Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
