apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
