but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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