Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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