i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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