I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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