so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
