Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
