Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
