If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
