1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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