Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
