you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
