i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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