I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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