let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
