Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
