I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
