I must be too annoying 4 u.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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